Connecting with Life
There may be many reasons that you're feeling disconnected from yourself, others, or life itself
It could be that you’ve experienced trauma, systemic oppression such as transphobia, homophobia, or racism, or are struggling with something that other people don’t seem to understand, such as misophonia. Anxiety, depression, and stress, can sometimes follow, and make these difficult experiences that much more challenging.
Healing is possible through connection - you've already taken a brave and important step by being here
Anxiety
Your anxiety might make total sense. There’s a lot going on in the world, on top of what’s happening in your personal life, and you may have experienced things in the past where things really did go wrong, and that fear has stayed with you to try to protect you. Or, your anxiety may be seemingly showing up out of nowhere, with no apparent cause, which can feel just as overwhelming.
- Being unable to stop worrying/anxious thinking
- Having a hard time sleeping at night, or relaxing during the day
- Feeling unusually restless or irritated
- Catastrophizing/thinking the worst will always happen
- Avoiding specific places or situations related to your fears
- Having a panic attack, which can seem like a heart attack
When we’re facing a perceived threat (either something happening right now, or that we’re worried about in the future), our body tries to prepare us by increasing our heart rate, tensing our muscles, and making our breathing more shallow, to either run away or confront the threat (fight-or-flight response). This is something that’s critical to our survival, and something we all experience.
What’s problematic is if this starts to take over your life, occupying your mind, draining your energy, and preventing you from doing the things you want to do. Even if there are clear unchangeable causes of your anxiety, you still deserve to live a restful and engaging life. It’s also easier to make change when we can feel calm and can think more clearly to take action.
My approach to counselling for anxiety includes looking at what’s going on in your life, what may be contributing to anxiety, assessing what can be changed, and helping you learn to live a meaningful and fulfilling life despite what can’t be. This may include therapeutic modalities like DBT, CBT, Polyvagal Theory, and mindfulness, all of which can be really effective at coping with anxious thoughts and feelings. There are so many things in life that are out of our control; despite all of this uncertainty, you can still find ways to feel calm, centred, and connected with life.
Schedule a consult with me to share what’s been on your mind and we can discuss what approaches may be helpful in counselling for you to help you find some rest and calm again.
Depression
You may feel like life has lost its lustre and colour, even in the relationships and hobbies that once brought you joy, which can deepen these feelings of despair and isolation even further. Sadness, despair, and hopelessness are all part of life and oftentimes make sense. It’s normal and okay to grieve and feel sad about things that haven’t gone as we hoped, in our personal lives or the world around us. This shows that we care, that we’re human.
- Sleeping way more or less than usual
- Feeling fatigued a lot of time, and having low energy
- Losing interest or joy in things your normally enjoy
- Difficulty focusing, remembering things, or making decisions
- Lack of appetite or a heightened appetite
- Feeling like you’re moving more slowly through the world
- Having thoughts of ending your own life (see FAQs for “What happens if I share that I’m having thoughts of suicide?”)
Depression is when these feelings persist, and it feels like you’ve lost touch with your normal self who was once able to enjoy life. This can happen due to a major change, such as a loss or intense stress, or it could be that everything seems fine, and depression crept up completely out of the blue. This could also be your body’s way of responding to overwhelm, by shutting down to try and protect you from further harm.
My approach to depression includes exploring what’s going on in your life that may be contributing, finding ways to bring some spark back, and taking small achievable steps towards reconnecting with life and joy again. This may include multiple therapeutic modalities such as CBT, Polyvagal Theory, mindfulness, and self-compassion, which can be effective at addressing depressive feelings and thinking.
Schedule a consult with me to share more about what’s been going on in and discuss what approaches may be helpful in counselling to bring some joy and sunlight back into your life.
Stress
Your to-do list may feel never-ending, from deadlines to chores, errands, appointments, school, work, and family. That time for rest or a break just keeps getting delayed, and when you do finally have time to rest, your mind and body can’t seem to actually relax, which adds even more stress and frustration. This can be so physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting.
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Feeling negatively about yourself
- Being unable to stop worrying
- Feeling anxious or depressed
- Difficulty relaxing or sleeping
- Using substances to cope with stress
- Withdrawing from others
- Neglecting responsibilities
- Feeling drained or tired a lot of the time
Stress is a normal part of life, we know it can’t be sunshine and rainbows all the time (as nice as that would be). Even positive change can be stressful, like a dream job opportunity, a new relationship, or planning a big celebration. Like anxiety, stress can be helpful in doses when the extra energy helps to prepare us.
However, stress can take a toll if it feels like there’s always a fire to put out, that you’re never doing enough, and you’re unable to rest and enjoy the positive moments when they do happen.
My approach to helping you cope with stress is taking inventory of what’s causing you stress, what’s on your to-list, and looking at how time can realistically be made for essentials like sleep, nourishment, enjoyment, rest, and relaxation. Prioritizing what must be done, by when, and sometimes by who (no one can do it all alone) is important to making this time for self-care. You are your most important resource in life – there is no life with you. If you’re experiencing anxiety or depression as well, that’s something we can explore together too.
My approach to managing stress often includes therapeutic modalities like CBT, DBT, Polyvagal Theory, mindfulness, and self-compassion, to help you understand how your mind and body are responding to stress, and how you can start to feel more rested and relaxed again, while balancing other responsibilities in life.
Schedule a free 20 minute consult or contact me to share some of the pressure you’ve been under, what you’re hoping will change, and see if I feel like a good fit for you.
“Life is not behind us or before us. Our most amazing, unapologetic life is right here, right now!”
Sonya Renee Taylor